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Tuesday, 28 June 2022 – Below is a long post by Pastor T Mwangi giving his opinion on why he thinks paying dowry is not Biblical.

I don’t normally do this but seeing the pictures of My wife on some pages has provoked this response. I value my family and when the family line is crossed you have to respond. Am responsible for my utterance and I was the one present for the debate.

One, that was a debate between Christianity and African renaissance. My argument came from African view and perspective of dowry where dowry was paid and negotiated for. Women were looked down upon in our cultures even today. 

They were considered inferior and some of us understand this from our very own background and cultures. The language of equity and equality is a new vocabulary that is slowly growing due to civilization, Christianity and education. 

In my culture dowry payment is not an event but a ritual, where we slaughter facing the mountain, pour blood, pay two goats for engagement, get blessed with alcohol by elders who later bring an endless list of tanks, sufurias, blankets,99 goats, 2 bulls and 2 cows and you pay slowly and once you are done you go for another ritual for the final release of blessing, where you slaughter and are blessed again. 

In fact, many dowry payments in Kenya are called traditional weddings. According to the elders whatever we do in church is just a celebration. There are detailed protocols that are followed and the work of a pastor in those events is to pray for food and give a motivational sermon because it’s not their day. 

There are very good practices in our cultures but when libation which is ancestral worship is involved, waving meat facing the mountains and shedding blood is involved that’s no longer a ceremony but a ritual that is contrary to the bible 100%. We need to separate spiritual rituals and ceremonies. In my culture that altar is polygamous servicing it will provoke that nature. A story for another day.

That’s the dowry that I never paid and I believe my bible is clear zion is the final mountain and the blood of Jesus is enough. Mixing the two is an automatic introduction of the Nicolaitans doctrine. 

Now, the most quoted scripture is Genesis 24 basic narration. Abraham wants a wife for Isaack and sends a senior servant with gifts, not payment, not elders to negotiate but gifts. The first person to be gifted is Rebecca once she accepts the proposal the family is also gifted. The key word is gifts. It was honor not pay.

Typology of that scripture is, that Abraham is a picture of God the Father, Isaack is a picture of the son, the servant is the Holyghost and Rebecca is the bride of Christ the gifts are the gifts of the Holy ghost given to the body a deposit of our eternal destiny. Parallel that with Ephesians and what Paul calls the mystery of marriage, the church and christ.

Jacob labored 14 years to get Rachael but read your bible he was manipulated through divination because of his star. Laban confessed to him he wanted him to stay so that he can prosper.

When we got born again we got enrolled into a kingdom our traditions are good but some levels are spiritual. Three areas where we identify with traditions or draw traditional banners are during childbirth and naming, initiation, wedding, and burials. These are deep areas of contention and we must be delivered.

Finally, I honored my parents, my inlaws are my parents and I serve and honor beyond even the demands of the elders.

Solomon quotes in Proverbs that a virtuous woman who can find, her price is far more than rubies. There is no earthly value for a zion’s daughter her worth is the redemption blood. Women are not goods to negotiate for they are people created in the image of God.

I know you have sat maybe in those ceremonies and you hear the elders discussing things and you wonder if you are buying a car or a person. 

Parents ought to be honored and they carry the blessings of the children and we honour them with substance According to our ability and grace and we honor them to the end. Build for them, take good care of them in their old age, and help relatives in need in the family of your inlaws. It’s greater than 99 goats and it’s what God designed marriage to be a joining of homes not selling of a woman.

Some young people have eloped after demands were made and many are avoiding marriage because of these things preferring to cohabitate and mend things later hence laying the wrong foundation in marriage. 

I seat as a pastor and 65% of troubled marriages have foundational issues and mainly lack parental and priestly blessings. 

They say the weight of lies makes it travel faster but the depth and weight of truth sometimes slows it down. Hope this truth will travel faster.


Pst T Mwangi

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