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Three years ago, a friend called me to a joint along Jogoo Road. We were mourning the death of a mutual friend killed in cold blood and only discovered in her house about a week later. We sat on the balcony of the joint, to shoot breeze and reminisce the brilliance of the young woman who had been killed. 

I had never stepped inside that joint, so out of necessity, my friend who summoned me there gave the profile of the place.

“Here is where older women who want younger men come to hunt. They have money, good cars(Aunt was Harrier) and everything a young man will want. Kwanza wewe vile ni mrefu, utapata haraka sana…” He said by way of breaking ice, given the mournful environment that we were meeting under. He made it would like it was predation at its best or worst depending on your values.

For the record, this memo has nothing to do with a recent famous wedding in Kenya. It has been on my vault for the longest time. It is just sheer coincidence that the timing of its release is just convenient. 

In Nairobi, and across major towns in Kenya, it has become fashionable for many young men to be kept or retained by older women for sexual services and oddly enough for companionship. 

Capitalism and the politics of affection should be an entire Sociology and Anthropology unit at universities.

It used to be younger women whose sole job was to look pretty and their lives problems would be taken care of by older men. But increasingly, many young men just need to look good, keep fit, stay on a diet of meat and nuts and sit prim waiting for the weekend or random weekdays for some hard romping. 

I have asked older women why they go for younger men, and they praise the younger men for their cable-laying abilities but every one of them says the same thing about the young men: they are immature as f**k. 

And often, they don’t retain the young men for long, before they move on to the next. It is predation that is not any different from what rich men do with young women.

Intergenerational dating is as inevitable as death. Whether done by men or women, it has the same effect on the young people who are predated upon: it steals their future.

Both young men and women who like the soft life in exchange for their sexual abilities suffer the same fate. 

A young woman who is beautiful and starts to eat life with a big spoon from older men, rarely settles down later in life. Save for a few who marry the older men as wife no. 2 or 3, nine out of ten times they found themselves on the wrong side of 30s with a very good past, and a very grim future. 

Because they are used to life in the fast lane, it becomes super hard to settle down because by then, they have zero pair-bonding abilities. 

We see them on social media trying to battle it out with younger women and they will never win. No amount of their nudity can make them visible any more than broke a man is visible to a beautiful woman.

 It is a brutal fact of life, no amount of good English can defend against.

The same applied to men. If you want any evidence, tour the coast and see the damage sexual tourism has wrecked on some of these beach boys. Some were so damn rich in their late 20s and early 30s, but in their 40s, all they have is nostalgia servicing those European women and nothing else. 

Older white women still come to the coast and they all want the legendary young black man’s plumbing services. The older males can only regale you with nostalgia and drug-induced delusions.

The times are hard and getting someone to pay you to give them pleasure is a very tempting exercise. As a young man, it is ok to be tempted, to fall into temptation once in a while.

 The money, drinks, treats and kicks go a long way. Equally, I know many young men whose preference is strictly older women. Whatever they call that syndrome. 

But as they say, easy come, easy go.

But there are other reasons why younger men should steer older women.

For starters, older women can be very possessive and super jealous. 

You may trip once and she will cut the financing and you can suffer a lot even as you look for the replacement if that is the life you have chosen. 

Still a few men are good at manipulating the older women by their sheer ability to shake their entire world with the wiring abilities, but manipulation can only take you so far.

Secondly, very few people who has chosen to live off their sexual organs normally have a happy ending in life. It is an ephemeral lifestyle with long-lasting regrets, not limited to diseases, ruined adulthood, and nothing to show for it later in life. 

You can always point out a few exceptions of men and women who sold off their bodies and bottoms and are now super-rich, but don’t ever bank on someone else’ luck. 

Statistics point out to very few who make it out in life that way.

Both for men and women, youth and beauty are very perishable products. It is like the Zimbabwean currency. We are meant to enjoy them briefly before we start families and spend the rest of our lives caring for each other and our children. 

It is intellectually fashionable to say dumb stuff like, marriage, family or kids are not for everyone. That is what happens when you make money as a young person with no corresponding wisdom. Delay any of these decisions and life catches up with you. The price we pay for picking convenience over sacrifice later in life is a steep one.

Older people who go after younger people do so for their very selfish reasons. They dangle the carrot of money but it is very conditional. 

They will never develop you, because if you become independent they will lose you. They want you to be their dog. At their horniest expedience. Fail on your obligations and they are on to the next.

So, young man, the money you enjoy today as you unleash your power and big Dix energy is a short one and short-lived. At least young women sometimes can benefit from a rich man. I know of very few men who benefit from rich women. Many are disposed off with a certain ruthlessness and savagery than it is necessary.

You lose your vital years when you should work for your money, earning easy and cheap money, get used to a lifestyle you can’t sustain and then you are forced to start predating on lonely, older women as Mario in Franco. You will never learn to work later in your 30s if all you have lived off is your penis. Younger men will soon replace you.

Once you start seeing the other sex as a source of income, your life as a human being is done. Because you will never have a healthy relationship with the other gender. And this is an extremely poor life that many don’t realise until it is too late and you can’t stop the clock.

If it is a lifestyle you have chosen and I sound like an ignorant preacher, take your time to study the patterns. If you are one of those people who don’t care about consequences in life, well and good, time will tell.

But ask your elders about the consequences of dating people far older than you and listen intently.

Don’t choose the easy path. Money is earned from hard work. I know selling your body is hard work, but that is not the hard work I am talking about.

Don’t be Mario.

Happy weekend folks. 

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