ADVISORY TO MEN ENGAGED OR DATING GÎKÛYÛ SINGLE MOTHERS
Gîkûyû Culture recognises that a child can have 2 or more fathers. It distinguishes between a biological father (Ithe Mûciari) & and an adoptive father (Ithe Mûreri). If you are engaged or dating a Gîkûyû single mother, you will never be the biological father (Ithe Mûciari) of her child or children.
You can however adopt her child or children through a very elaborate customary practice (kûiyûkia njiarwa). The adoption process is different & very distinct from that of marriage. The two cannot & should never be done together or simultaneously. Once you adopt a child born out of marriage, you become Ithe Mûreri & you must perform a number of ceremonies to introduce that child or children to your clan, extended family and household.
An adopted child will be made a member of your clan through a process known as “gûciarwo na mbûri”. After this, the child can adopt your name, clan and extended family as his or hers. However, this child will never be part of your bloodline (rûrîra).
The next time a a Gîkûyû woman tells you that “Wenda mbûri wende nginya kamûkwa kayo”( if you like/love her, you must love her child or children too), respond to her that “Mwana wa ngarî akunyaga o ta ngarî” (a leopard does not shed it is spots) & that “Rûruka rwa kîmbu rutithiragwo nî mûng’ûngûtû” (a chameleon does not lose its hunched back).
A Gîkûyû man is not just a husband and a father but also the High Priest (mûthînjîrí Ngai) & the Teacher (Mûrutani Kîrîra) of his family. It is the responsibility of every man to teach his biological & adopted children the ways of the community as well as the culture; customs, traditions, practices and beliefs.
A man must therefore know “Mîtugo ya Rûrîrî, Mûhîrîga, mbarî, nyûmba na Ndîra Cíake”; the culture, customs ways of his people & blood relatives .
Consequently, if you are engaged or dating a Gîkûyû single mother you must know that after payment of dowry (ķûraacia) you will be required to perform “kûhata mîruru), a separate & distinct ceremony at a later date. Marriage is a contract uberrimae fidae (of utmost good faith) & before you commit yourself to a Gîkûyû single mother, she MUST DISCLOSE to you the biological father of her child or children born out of wedlock.
Without this disclosure, you will never be able to perform your duties as the High Priest of your household. If the woman refuses to disclose the bloodline of the child or children then you shouldn’t marry her.