The more women get empowered, conversely, men’s rights increasingly diminish. A day or so ago, we were treated to untold drama when a woman went screeching like wasted brake pads at the Milimani Law Courts, accusing the Chief Justice David Maraga of being a deadbeat.
Whether or not the revered CJ knew her the biblical way, it’s for DNA and the Justice system to discern. What piqued my curiosity was the amount she was asking for, Ksh160k a month for a six-year-old? By Jove!
When did the Child Support laws in this country include a clause that caters for ululating, wailing and screaming like a retard? My heart goes to the family of the CJ, his often composed wife who had to bear the shame of news outlets awash with claims of her church elder husband being accused of fathering a child with some dishevelled looking mercenary of a damsel who doesn’t look like she can tell her left from her right.
As pathetic and as unfortunate as this sounds, modern women have more incentives to want a child than men do; especially given the financial benefits that child support laws now provide. I would hate to believe it is common but I assure you that it is abused.
Pregnancy by theft is a thing and a norm- women have been ‘baby-trapping’ men by getting pregnant without their consent – either for marriage, money or simply to become a mother – for decades. To exacerbate the issue, women are mostly favoured by the law when it comes to the custody of the children, whereas the men are left to take care of the financial needs of the children.
In most cases, the court considers the mother as best able to take care of young children, fathomably so because the general consensus is that mothers know their interests and needs. Where custody is bestowed on her, she is entitled to maintenance from the father until the child attains the age of majority. This has not gone well for responsible men who have had to bear the consequences of a broken relationship or marriage even when the woman is the one who initiated the breakup.
Allow me cite a public case involving an Administration Police corporal Henry Kamwara, who was sued by his estranged wife for child support after she left him for another man. The court ruled that he be paying child support of over Sh84,000.
Kamwara is in Job Group F, which pays a basic salary of Sh42,600. He is unable to raise the amount and is contemplating quitting his job, despite having another family with one newborn child.
Modern women are treacherous; a woman who is desperate to get pregnant without her boyfriend/one-night-stand/lover has an arsenal of paraphernalia at her disposal that can aid in this chicanery. From ovulation tests, plus phone apps to monitor fertile days. Oh, you think a condom can help salvage you from these leeches? There are plastic syringes or ‘turkey basters’, used to inject sperm as high as possible inside a woman’s vagina. Baby-trapping, in other words, has gone up a gear. We all know of a friend or two who have children who weren’t planned with women they dated for a matter of weeks or months.
Case in point, a nominated female MCA in Nyandarua County who took popular politician Maina Kamanda to court for child upkeep became the subject of ridicule with claims that she got her political nomination for sleeping with the veteran politician.
I have often come across threads upon threads of baby-trapping confessions online. ‘I got pregnant on purpose in order to keep him from leaving,’ says one. ‘We’ve been together for five years.’ ‘I’ve been trying to get pregnant by my married boyfriend for a year,’ says another. ‘I think if I have a baby he will leave his wife for me.’ ‘He told me he’d never leave me if we found out I was pregnant, so I did it on purpose to make sure,’ admits yet another.
They’ve caged these men, yes, but if the surprised fathers fall in love with their babies once they’re in their arms, is that such a disaster? So yes, it has happened and the man takes responsibility. The woman will harvest child support, often exorbitant and which are sometimes administered by feminist of magistrates but the child will minimally and dismally benefit from this support.
The woman will use the money to buy weaves, acrylic hair, and makeup while the child gets to be fed noodles. The same child will be tucked away from the father who has to beg and plead to at least spend some little time with their child.